tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66936292012-02-16T02:28:43.104-06:00Bunkie's Big Girl Blog<strong>Laugh Lines from the best-selling author of "The Big Girls' Guide To Life."</strong>Bunkienoreply@blogger.comBlogger671100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-27797090302071361462009-10-27T13:15:00.002-05:002009-10-27T13:20:07.201-05:00Shop for a New Bra? I’d Rather Put Hot Needles in My Eye… Every year, I force myself to perform a task that women the world over shirk as long as possible: it’s time to root through that lingerie drawer, throw out the broken stuff, and buy new bras and panties. You might say, “Bunkie, the phrase ‘broken stuff’ doesn’t really apply to underwear, does it?” Au contraire! Let’s review that a bra isBunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-35983185300893903722009-10-23T09:56:00.002-05:002009-10-23T11:56:01.763-05:00Autumn...God's Carnival, without the GermsI love Autumn...the crisp, cool days. Brilliant red, orange and gold leaves on trees. Pumpkins, acorns, chili and Halloween candy. Campfires, roasted hot dogs and s'mores...When I was a child, I was never very keen on going to the state fair or the traveling carnival, because I'm a certified Germ-o-Phobe who also suffers from a distinct and total aversionBunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-72760698371052553832008-06-04T09:12:00.002-05:002008-06-04T09:37:38.829-05:00Skip the City Sex...Give me those Hats! I, like virtually every other female on the planet, saw the movie "Sex in the City" this weekend. If you enjoyed the TV show, the movie was a much-needed fix, a rollicking raucous time. As a woman who will never, by any stretch of the imagination, be labeled as "fashion conscious," at least I can live vicariously through the trendy do's and don'ts sported Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-42063157636100709332008-04-08T11:18:00.003-05:002008-04-16T10:30:19.799-05:00Tourism, Arizona-Style!I recently returned from Spring Break in Arizona, which is the most beautiful state in the union, and I can say that without hesitation, since I'm an Arizona native. My family and I wore it out: trekked, photographed, souvenired, and experienced everything Northern Arizona had to offer. We tried to do our part to boost late-night eating opportunities in Sedona and the GrandBunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-72602366268077804962007-12-18T20:01:00.000-06:002007-12-19T14:17:09.156-06:00God Bless Us, Every One...especially those of us who wrestle with Christmas dinner plans...Ok, just got off the phone with Mom about Christmas Eve food. I love my parents, but here's a little sample of our conversation:Mom: I just wondered what I should bring for Christmas Eve.Bunkie: Ok, Sis is bringing meatballs, stuffed mushrooms and spanikopita.Mom: WHAT? What's that? The boys won't eat that Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-7109722990062537562007-11-27T21:03:00.000-06:002007-11-27T21:38:08.401-06:00On Pilgrims, Fuzzy Vacuums & Raw Birds Just today I threw out the last of the Thanksgiving leftovers, some of which spawned a sickening green-blue mold that would have made Louis Pasteur proud. As I jammed the contents of said refrigerated Petri dishes down my Dispoz-All, I had time for a few post-Thanksgiving reflections. Lucky you. 1) Revisionists revealed to us the week before Thanksgiving Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-12558862487683356882007-08-28T11:57:00.000-05:002007-08-28T12:23:36.983-05:00 Ode to the Commode...Because You CAN Take it With You!There I was, sitting quietly at home on a Friday night, basking in a little pre-birthday calm, when imagine my surprise to hear the doorbell ring...at 10:30pm. People my age don't routinely enjoy visitors after the respectable hour of say, 8:00pm, so to call me surprised is the understatement of the Western world.Further imagineBunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-87753508607059195292007-08-11T20:45:00.000-05:002007-08-11T22:38:04.195-05:00My German Blood is Boiling in this HEAT! Ok, last time I checked, I was living happily in Middle Tennessee...a land of four distinct seasons, none of them too extreme, or too lengthy. I am of German heritage, and it is a known fact Germans follow the rules, we don't deal well with extremes. My German genes built me for cooler climates...extra fat layers, and all that. While summers where I live Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-24697242964014429522007-07-26T20:39:00.000-05:002007-07-26T22:34:32.286-05:00 Where, Oh Where, Did My Relaxing Summer Go?So it's nearly three months since my last post, and you're no doubt publicly dissing me for being a Total Slacker. Au contraire, mes amis. Total Slackers sleep until noon, loll about in their pjs, watch loads of bad TV, and surf the Net for untold hours. I am the very antithesis of a Total Slacker: I am a Mom with a School-Age Child on Summer Break, andBunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-11413642392951951652007-05-09T13:20:00.000-05:002007-05-09T13:41:10.473-05:00Moon Your Moms!Happy May, out there in electric internet land. I'm busier than a one-armed paper hanger these days. Is it me, or is May a more hectic time of year than the Christmas season? At least with Christmas, everything boils down to the 24th & 25th. But in May, everyone scrambles to compete for "end of the year" bashes and banquets, as we pat ourselves, our scholars, teachers and athletesBunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-5073757721609425862007-04-17T12:22:00.000-05:002007-04-17T12:52:50.703-05:00 My War with the WeatherI recently returned from a nice spring vacation with my family. It was nice, only because I was with my family. The weather was awful. Let's review, when you go on "spring break," you expect a modicum of spring, as in, warmth, sunshine, occasional light showers to bring May flowers. You do not expect a thirty-degree drop in temperature in a two hour period, nor do you Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-50829553319933067902007-02-23T16:20:00.000-06:002007-02-23T19:06:48.238-06:00Mardi Gras is French for "melted plastic baby"...As usual, I'm several days late and several thousand dollars short, but hey, you're here, so get over it.Many of you out there in BlogLand may have participated in a little wanton celebrating on Fat Tuesday. Suddenly, perhaps out of respect to those in Katrina's wake, everyone wants to celebrate Mardi Gras, whether they understand it, or not. You Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-60298323073310770602007-02-09T17:41:00.000-06:002007-02-09T17:44:09.135-06:00 Exercise Your Rights...to the Remote & the Recliner!I have invested in my health and wellbeing, so they tell me. 'They' are friends who invited me into their home under the ruse of eating homemade poundcake, but instead introduced me to my new Personal Athletic Trainer. Lo and behold, 'they' even paid for a couple of sessions for me!"This will help your knees, your flexibility! You'll feel Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1168229904782748632007-01-07T21:57:00.000-06:002007-01-07T22:18:24.796-06:00 The Edible Yule Log...it seemed like a good idea at the time...Yeah, I realize four major holidays have come and gone since I last blogged, deal with it. I celebrated too much on all of them--snuck too many mini almond Snickers from my son's goody bag on Halloween, scarfed too much pecan pie on Turkey Day, drank too much wine on New Year's Eve. You know the drill.No, I didn't forget about Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1161621906592398942006-10-23T10:50:00.000-05:002006-10-23T11:45:07.356-05:00Pumpkins & Candy Corn Be Hanged, It's Movie Popcorn Season!Autumn is a time for crisp, cool days, leaves flying like little helicopters against a brilliant blue sky, and children frolicking in costumes, begging for candy. I do love October and its mischief, but what I like best about fall is that Hollywood rolls out the Big Movie guns, and I'm in thrill-seeking heaven.I earned a college degree inBunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1161189182699133182006-10-18T10:26:00.000-05:002006-10-18T11:33:02.846-05:00It's National Love Your Body Day!Ok, we've had a week to ponder the beautiful body that is uniquely our own, in order to celebrate ourselves as delightful, worthy individuals who are part of this planet! You did ponder, right? I decided that I love my crooked toes, my freckles, and the way I can raise one eyebrow up high like John Belushi.Today's not a day to shun mirrors, or berate yourself Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1160579590675989052006-10-11T09:52:00.000-05:002006-10-11T10:13:11.793-05:00WOMEN OF THE WORLD: Get Ready to Hug Yourselves! My friends know I'm the Uber-Planner of the Western World, so it's completely in my nature to alert all of you out there in BlogLand that next Wednesday, October 18, is National "Love Your Body Day." This is a day, sponsored by the National Organization for Women (NOW), when women are supposed to embrace the miraculous body that is uniquely their Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1158014156150283552006-09-11T16:20:00.000-05:002006-09-11T17:35:56.276-05:00A Prayer for PeaceShattered buildings, lives snuffed out, dreams lost. We did not ask for this tragedy, but it is part of our inheritance, unwilling though we may be to receive it. It is our heritage, as much a part of us as those brave souls who stood up for their ideals, 230 years before airplanes were hijacked and used as weapons. Our duty is to never forget.We are the proud members of a Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1157128602605493812006-09-01T11:07:00.000-05:002006-09-01T11:36:43.256-05:00It's Good to be the Empress...My close friends have called me "the Empress" for years, because they are a) intelligent and b) they know it gets ugly when I don't get my way. There's no better day to be the Empress than on your birthday, the day when Father Time smacks you on the head with more wrinkles, age spots and memory loss. But when you're the Empress, you can stare him down, and scream, "Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1156174895007253172006-08-21T09:51:00.000-05:002006-08-21T10:41:36.426-05:00Third Grade is the New High School...The state of Education these days...well, I'm here to tell ya that despite the naysayers, there is definite, rapid progress going on. You know you're in for a wild ride when your third grade son looks you in the eye and says, "Mom, I was using a metaphor. Do you know what a metaphor is?" "Of course I do! I'm a writer! Do you?"Wrooonnng question, unless you Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1155841722771306772006-08-17T13:25:00.000-05:002006-08-17T14:08:43.533-05:00Yippee, Skippee, Another Book Written ...Sort of.Thankyouverymuch, I very recently completed my THIRD book, along with my good friend and Comma Goddess collaborator, J.J. Ferrer, and boy, does it ever feel GOOD to be FINISHED!We've slaved and toiled and conspired for over a year, long-distance at that, to sculpt words into paragraphs that should, if we've done our jobs properly, solicit raucous Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1154450386568073722006-08-01T10:40:00.000-05:002006-08-01T11:39:46.666-05:00If I Could Just Have 5 Days To Myself, I'd Be Caught Up...I'm admit that being a Wife & Mother is not what I envisioned as my life, all those years in film school ago. Lesson learned: if one can't change the world by creating the Ultimate Documentary, one can, at the very least, better the lives of those in one's own domain, by insisting that all hands be clean prior to the ingestion of food. Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1153891650418289672006-07-25T23:49:00.000-05:002006-07-26T00:27:30.436-05:00That's Professor Bunkie, If You Don't Mind!Tonight I had the distinct pleasure to talk about comedy writing with a group of very savvy, very fortunate high school students, as part of the Humanities Tennessee Young Writer's Workshop. Kudos to all the participants, to Humanities Tennessee for sponsoring these young talented writers, and to the faculty and staff who take a week out of their summer Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1153289543681917722006-07-19T00:21:00.000-05:002006-07-19T01:12:23.763-05:00The Tale of the Internet Refugee...Alas, nearly three months has passed since my last blog. Whip me hard, and make it hurt, I deserve it. But let me engage you in a tale so sordid, you'll immediately want to take me out and buy me a jelly donut to lessen my misery.The past 90 days haven't been all fun and games, I assure you. And I did nothing at all, whatsoever, to deserve this Job-like Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1146025579898038312006-04-25T23:03:00.000-05:002006-04-25T23:26:19.913-05:00'M' is for the Memory I Had Before I Gave Birth...Hi, folks. Your omni-present, ever-watchful, ultra-lazy humorist and observer of our social fabric, Bunkie Lynn here. Yeah, it's been a couple of weeks since I blogged. Ok, it's been 35 days, geez! I had to catch up on taped episodes of Boston Legal, already! Denny Crane... William Shatner, comic genius. Who knew?In the spirit of Spring, ensuing Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1142956056809241222006-03-21T09:02:00.000-06:002006-03-21T09:59:03.756-06:00The Merits of Sharp ScissorsMy hair is the bane of my existence; as a child, it curled and meandered about my head in a tangle until my parents decided that I should become the "pixie cut" poster child. Even this 'do' didn't do...my now short, curly hair frequently took on a life of its own, despite hair spray, bobby pins, and other instruments of torture. My grandma and I joked that I could playBunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1141400489152498152006-03-03T09:25:00.000-06:002006-03-03T09:42:40.770-06:00The Humility of GratitudeI belong to the WNBA and last night I attended our chapter meeting. Now before you go shaking your head, wondering how in the world a Big Girl could play professional basketball (she couldn't, because practice would interfere with snack time), please understand the WNBA is also the Women's National Book Association. Our program was very insightful, and we were shamed intoBunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1137004705721445672006-01-11T12:36:00.000-06:002006-01-11T12:38:25.723-06:00Hell Hath No Fury Like a Carbohydrate Scorned...I'm on Day 8 of Evil Phase One on the South Beach Diet...this is the second time I've done SoBeach, and it really does work, if you don't mind spending $3000 a month on groceries, or taking your entire day to read cookbooks and make shopping lists. Guess if you're doing that, you're too busy to eat.But I'd give my left breast for a piece of bread orBunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1136447814820420132006-01-05T01:33:00.000-06:002006-01-11T12:39:27.650-06:00HOOK 'EM HORNS!After 35 years, my beloved alma mater, The University of Texas, has won a NCAA National Football Championship title! What a game, I nearly peed my pants dozens of times over, and my poor young son never realized his mommy could scream so loudly at the television. I'm sure I terrified him. Even the dogs ran and hid under the furniture, while I ranted and raved and hooted and Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1135633102882932962005-12-26T15:11:00.000-06:002006-01-11T12:40:05.063-06:00Merry Christmas, even if it's a day late! I hope everyone enjoyed their respective Winter Holiday of Choice as much as I did. This year I refused to panic, I didn't worry about the dog tracks on the carpet, I didn't obsess about having the silver polished, and I didn't get upset with my family and their quirks, I embraced them. It was a great day, a great Christmas, probably one of the best. I amBunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1132593832801343962005-11-21T10:43:00.000-06:002006-01-11T12:40:23.963-06:00Sinus Infection as a Weight Loss ToolWhy is it that immediately after the fun and frolic we know as Halloween, germs promptly attack us from outer space, invade our bodies, and make us miserable until April? No matter how many times I wash my hands, alien viruses invade my immune system and shut down my mother board down...for weeks. Don't kid yourself, you're not getting frequent colds...it's Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1131504907877492002005-11-08T20:30:00.000-06:002006-01-11T12:40:43.033-06:00What, Exactly, Made Rosie "Crackle?"Last night I had the distinct pleasure (I'm serious!) of dining with my husband and young son. It is our Monday night tradition to eat at the local Chik-Fil-A (translation: Mom doesn't have to cook because it's Family Nite).On Family Nite, there's usually a person wandering around the restaurant, dressed in a very large Chik-Fil-A Cow costume. It is apparent Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1131048057442686812005-11-03T13:34:00.000-06:002006-01-11T12:41:31.470-06:00You Eat the Pumpkin... Point Me Toward the Chocolate!It's November, which means that:1. Leaves fall2. Sweaters become desirable3. People try to force-feed you cooked pumpkin in various and sundry formsI like a good slice of pumpkin bread, or a pumpkin cookie, or even a pumpkin cream cheese muffin from Starbucks on occasion. But I cannot abide pumpkin pie, no matter how flaky the homemade crust, Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1129922926413353052005-10-21T13:56:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:41:54.620-06:00Bunkie's Good Health Tip: Stay Indoors & Avoid FoodI'm officially now a middle-aged woman. Walk with me as I take my Inventory: raging hormones, horrible moodswings, hot flashes, pains everywhere, and a tendency to speak my mind in a very loud voice. My family walks on eggshells, my girlfriends don't see anything unusual, and total strangers think I'm a complete lunatic.And now, we (that's the 'Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1129230898233045032005-10-13T13:45:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:42:19.556-06:00Stop Beating (and Eating) Yourself Up!I just spent 4 days with two very influential women in my life...my friend Jayne, who is an accomplished poet and a collaborator with me on our next hilarious book about menopause...and my friend The Clay Lady, Danielle, who has owned a successful business teaching kids how to make clay art for 23 years. Both of these women are wise, warm and hysterically Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1128533607604659842005-10-05T12:09:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:42:39.740-06:00When Did Hair Removal Become So Important?Today I received a hysterically funny email from a good friend, about a woman's attempt to use wax strips on her bikini area, and how in the process, she glued her bottom shut! Don't you just know those paramedics were howling??Why do women put ourselves through this misery, just to remove a little hair? Isn't the hair on our bodies there for a good Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1128430138662607092005-10-04T07:33:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:43:05.970-06:00Extolling the Virtues of a Chocolate-Dipped Cone...This is my "author" busy season, one in which I spend lots of time giving speeches and trying to sell books at a host of literary festivals around the country. If I'm lucky, I get put up in a nice hotel, sometimes there are pillow chocolates involved and turn-down service. Sometimes there are flies at the buffet (see Akron, previous...or better Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1128021653348232052005-09-29T14:12:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:43:29.260-06:00Today I will extol on the virtues of a very unique chocolate candy bar, Nestle's Violet Crumble, named, I'm guessing here, for the character Violet in Roald Dahl's Charlie & The Chocolate Factory. I must admit, I personally laughed until I very nearly wet my pants this summer, when I watched Johnny Depp's amazing on-screen antics, and the Oompah Loompah's homages to old movies were just what I Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1127785863189751202005-09-26T20:24:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:43:54.573-06:00Make New Friends & Keep the Old...One is Silver, the Other Will Buy You a Drink When You're Stuck in AkronYeah, so it's been awhile...ok, 8, 9 months since I blogged. Get over it. I'm back with a vengeance and determined to talk at you at least 3x a week, as part of my New Discipline. Goes along with my New Diet & Exercise Plan. Hey, wanna buy some real estate? Sorry, I digress.Spent the weekend Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1102276554045666412004-12-05T13:29:00.000-06:002006-01-11T12:45:49.626-06:00Bunkie Needs a Ladybug!Waaay back last January, I was motivated by the forces of God, and the fact that most of my functioning neurons were broken, to offer my services as the director for this year's Christmas children's pageant at our church.In my humble opinion, and I believe most moms will agree, being "the director" simply means you will entice other unsuspecting female humanoids to assist Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1098211842262752892004-10-19T13:29:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:46:15.986-06:00Ode to Autumn....Good grief, have I been remiss in my Official Capacity as Big Girl Blogger Par Excellence! The hangover from my 45th birthday lasted well into September, and wasn't helped by a huge dose of back-to-school anxiety with my first-grader. Now baseball's just about over, Fall fell, and WHAM! it's time to carve that pumpkin.Well, gentle reader, if you're hangin' with me after all my Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1093989865123476582004-08-31T16:22:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:46:41.870-06:00Hidden Treasures of the Middle Ages Revealed...aka Bunkie Turns 45So, yeah, it's been a hectic summer. Oh, get over it, I've been too busy to blog. What's it to ya? Which thrift store did that shirt come from, by the way? Love your shoes, I never realized how lime green sets off horribly cracked heels so well, uh huh. Why in the h*ll is the air conditioner set to 8,000 degrees? Open the freezerBunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1090893731365531012004-07-26T19:50:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:47:05.590-06:00A Few Thoughts on Friends, Past Lives & SummerMan, where has the summer gone? Lots of swimming and a little bit of sleeping late; a few barbecues mixed with a healthy dose of closet-cleaning; a couple of great trips with family and friends, and before ya know, it's nearly August, and in this neck of the woods, school starts.Since I'm approaching 45 (oh please, I still think I'm 18, so hush), I Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1089347927136440962004-07-08T23:35:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:47:34.546-06:00Bunkie On VacationOk, sorry it's been a while since we've chatted. I've had extremely important things to do, like drink beer, eat chocolate, and vacate. I just spent a very entertaining and heartwarming weekend with dear friends, and they are expecting me to write something about it. But it's still formulating in my brain, and I don't wish to let them down, when they are expecting something Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1085688855456812802004-05-27T15:04:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:47:53.466-06:00Vacation R MeYippee, skippee, it's Vacation Time, that wonderful time of the year when I pack my sunscreen, 3 twelve packs of Heineken (yes, I'm a beer snob, get over it) 1 swimsuit and an entire suitcase of magazines, books and newspapers, and head off in search of sand.Oh, wait...that's what I used to do, B.C. Before Children. Now it takes me 3 days to pack, make a grocery list, put new Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1085495582928289542004-05-25T09:13:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:48:20.450-06:00Flea Markets: Not for the Faint of HeartIt's Tuesday, and I'm still recovering from my weekend Flea Market Experience. I'm not really sure why my friend and I decided we could become overnight entrepreneurs at the Flea Market, but I know that I lost 5 years of my life this weekend, just by being there.Picture this: acres and acres of dirt-floored stalls that in August are used as livestock pens Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1085064867606778462004-05-20T09:38:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:48:42.496-06:00An Ode to Strep ThroatBlogfans, I must apologize for my absence of late. But I swear, I have a good excuse. Anybody out there in blogland ever have strep throat? As a child, it's no picnic, but lemme tell ya, as an adult, it's DEATH ON A BISCUIT, except you can't possibly swallow the biscuit, because you know you will die.After a very enjoyable evening on Friday where I received an award for one Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1084225099896917382004-05-10T15:32:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:49:04.483-06:00Mother's Day Guilt and Shameful Behavior Syndrome: A disease of epidemic proportionI'm here today to discuss the Mother's Day Guilt & Shameful Behavior Syndrome, which is a serious illness that strikes virtually every woman with children at some point in her life. Is this a serious condition? The answer, most definitely in my case, is yes. Let's just review:Friday Night: My hubby and son leave Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1083704196656381292004-05-04T15:24:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:49:27.430-06:00My Handyman, Toilet Ghost Exorcist There are 2 adults in my household, and 1 small child. Both adults are college educated; the child, a kindergartener, asks questions most college freshman couldn't comprehend, so it's a matter of time before we will be forced to hire the great physicist Stephen Hawking to help with homework.Despite our advanced degrees, my husband and I are physically unable to Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1083208187085315452004-04-28T22:05:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:49:49.523-06:00WHAT PART OF 31 FLAVORS DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?Tonight I had the pleasure of helping my friend Teresa, who owns a Baskin-Robbins ice cream franchise. It was "Free Scoop Night" and I was a "celebrity scooper." Pass up an opportunity to be that close to so much ice cream? Not on your life.I had a great time, and those BR workers earned every penny, we were jammed for 4 hours. It amazes me how long Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1082657994348569592004-04-22T12:49:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:50:11.180-06:00Bunkie Gets the BlahsIt is raining. It is humid. It is Thursday and I've been dragging my hind end around all day. Am I suffering from "iron-poor, tired blood" or did the adrenaline rush that was last week finally crash land and I'm the casualty?I came home from 6 consecutive "writer gigs" on Sunday uttering the vow that I was going to take some time off, slow down a bit. That lasted for 24 hoursBunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1082587207101739232004-04-21T17:23:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:50:34.200-06:00I Can't Compete with Dolly's Breasts & Shania's BellybuttonTonight I will be a television widow. My husband, a lifelong, avid country music fan, will be glued to the 51" set to watch his heroine, the formidable Dolly Parton, host the CMT Flameworthy Awards. I will become invisible; my only function is to put our son to bed, so my hubby won't miss a single second of Shania's bellybutton, Dolly's Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1082482881618043412004-04-20T12:40:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:50:56.460-06:00THE METEORS ARE COMING! RUN! HIDE! EAT CHOCOLATE!As a college-educated humanoid with a Bachelor of Science degree, and as the have-no-clue parent of a young child, I am committed to the observation of Natural Wonders in our life here on earth. This may include the removal of strange, gummy-like substances from the refrigerator door, or a cozy little gathering in the backyard, complete with Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1082432314153866692004-04-19T22:30:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:51:17.340-06:00Why I Need My Fans, by Bunkie Lynn.Coming off of what was, without a doubt, the head-rushingest week of my writing career, I'd like to say a little "thank you" to my fans, the folks out there in Book Buying Land who make my world go 'round.What an ego boost when somebody you might not even vaguely remember comes up to you and says, "Wow, I really LOVED your book! I laughed so hard I fell out of Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1082148003534860762004-04-16T15:27:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:51:40.663-06:00Howdy, ya'll. I'm livin' in my SUV this weekend as I journey back and forth to Bowling Green, KY from my humble home in Tennessee, for my appearances at the Southern KY Book Fest. It's Big Fun and if you're reading this, and you're in the vicinity of Bowling Green, come to the SOKY Fest Saturday at the Sloan Convention Center, and holler at me.Let's just spend a moment discussing the virtues of Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1082040662198676332004-04-15T09:46:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:52:03.220-06:00After being on a little holiday and eating everything in sight for days, including an obscene amount of chocolate Easter candy, I returned home today and stepped on the scales, head hung low, fully expecting the Diet Police to whip me with their Shame Canes.WHAT? What is that number? It can't be right. (Step off the scale, move it around the floor, step gingerly back on). You've GOT to be KIDDINGBunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1081538783426736092004-04-09T14:08:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:52:24.263-06:00Easter Bunkie here, with the Best Candy in the Basket Rating for 2004:10) Yellow or pink Peeps. Yeah, I know they're mostly made of chemicals, but they're so danged cute! It's big fun to smash them together in a wad and see how long it takes for them to puff back up.9) Egg bubble gum. Not a perennial favorite, mind you, but the colors are nice. 8) The Inevitable Chocolate Bunny. Why, you may ask,Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1081434369965319332004-04-08T09:04:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:52:46.396-06:00Whew, what a week I'm having! Thanks to WBIR-TV in Knoxville for hosting me on the "Style" program on Tuesday. This Big Girl had Big Fun, particularly presenting The Professor to the crew. The Professor is an extremely large chocolate bunny with that familiar, higher education, glazed-over look in his eyes...you remember from your college days...too many papers to grade, too many holes in that Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1081207196595688082004-04-05T18:15:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:53:07.396-06:00Ok, so I've got to decide what to wear on my TV appearance in Knoxville tomorrow...let me just say for the record, I'm a Big Girl who hates to iron, but I LOVE wearing cotton and linen clothing. Last summer I spent a small fortune taking all my ironing to the dry cleaners, but this year have resolved to do the ironing thing for myself...ironing can be therapeutic, even though it can be hard on Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1080947306050158642004-04-02T16:53:00.000-06:002006-01-11T12:53:30.470-06:00TRAFFIC BITES! Today I had the privilege (and I'm being serious here) of driving 22 miles into downtown Nashvegas for a radio interview. Now I'm familiar with the whole "commuter traffic" thing, but thankfully it was smooth sailing despite the construction areas, despite the yahoos who drive like perennial bats outta hell, and I arrived 30 minutes early, to be exact. I even had the pleasure of Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1080832362271936592004-04-01T08:54:00.000-06:002006-01-11T12:53:50.986-06:00April Fool's Scenarios I Wish Were True:The President today signed into law Federal Statute BMI-35, making anyone with a Body Mass Index of less than 35 an automatic felon. A critical rider to this statute also calls for the immediate incarceration of any woman suspected to be the result of a genetic mutation between a pretzel stick and a silicone breast implant.The hamburger chain McDonald's Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1080746505692909062004-03-31T09:08:00.000-06:002006-01-11T12:54:12.133-06:00Bunkie's Law of Mopping: The amount of mud a dog will track into the house is directly proportional to the number of minutes you just spent mopping said floor, factoring in the time that the dog in question looked through the back door and watched you perform said task.I guess I don't mind the mud all that much; big muddy dog footprints on the carpet do remind me of chocolate. Eventually all the Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1080698408067389812004-03-30T19:59:00.000-06:002006-01-11T12:44:41.486-06:00YIKES! It's almost April Fool's Day...or as they say in France, "Poisson d'avril" or "April Fish."Don't forget to fool your friends...steal their chocolate!Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1080697027137366312004-03-30T19:26:00.000-06:002004-03-30T19:40:43.296-06:00Spring has sprung and I'm dreaming of viciously biting the head off a huge chocolate bunny. I'm also dreaming of immersing myself in a veritable river of chocolate, in the midst of my Lenten-inspired "no chocolate" rule...Easter Sunday's gonna bring a heckuva cocoa hangover, I can't wait.
We always crave the thing we aren't supposed to have...in my case, after several weeks without my favorite Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1080601647522075392004-03-29T17:06:00.000-06:002004-03-29T17:11:02.590-06:00Why am I having so much trouble with this silly thing?
Click here to go to my website, Bunkielynn.com, to view my BIG GIRL NOTEPADS!Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1080601563451335772004-03-29T17:02:00.000-06:002004-03-29T17:09:38.530-06:00Ok, let's try this again.
Here is the link to my website, Bunkielynn.com
Check it out and click on "Books & Gifts" to preview the BIG GIRL NOTEPADS! Get yours online at my site today, a must-have for every woman who loves chocolate and hates to exercise!Bunkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693629.post-1080600396556475612004-03-29T16:42:00.000-06:002004-03-29T16:58:19.716-06:00Hi fellow Big Girls and Lovers of Chocolate! I'm Bunkie Lynn, humorist and author of The Big Girls' Guide to Life, a Plus-Sized Jaunt through a Body-Obsessed World.
Women of all sizes who have ever faced weight issues, hormonal fluctuations, jerky relationships and the unkindness of strangers will laugh out loud at my tongue-in-cheek "advice" on How to Live Life as a Big Girl with Attitude!. Bunkienoreply@blogger.com