On Pilgrims, Fuzzy Vacuums & Raw Birds

Just today I threw out the last of the Thanksgiving leftovers, some of which spawned a sickening green-blue mold that would have made Louis Pasteur proud. As I jammed the contents of said refrigerated Petri dishes down my Dispoz-All, I had time for a few post-Thanksgiving reflections. Lucky you.

1) Revisionists revealed to us the week before Thanksgiving that Hernando de Soto celebrated this country's real first meal of thanks, and served nothing but bean soup. I like bean soup as much as the next person--which means that if that's all there is in the pantry, I'll eat it. Thank God the Pilgrims sailed over here and met Squanto, so he could teach us how to really put on the dog, er...turkey & all the trimmings. Thanksgiving--to me--requires strawberry jello salad, cornbread dressing and the required cold turkey sandwich on Friday, as my beloved Texas Longhorns beat the Aggies on TV. OOPS, that didn't happen this year. But my sandwich tasted delicious anyway!

2) Pilgrims putting on the dog makes me thankful for my 2 Fuzzy Vacuums, Sophie & Cricket. When our 9 guests had departed, when dishes were washed and put away and as we languished on the couch, Sophie & Cricket kindly licked our kitchen floor clean. For two hours. No more spilled gravy or green beans, and all the pie crumbs vanished from sight. Good dogs! Bet Priscilla Alden would have traded ol' Miles Standish for a coupla four-legged clean-up pals any day. Note to self: name next dog Hoover.

3) My 10 year old son wanted to "learn to cook" our feast this year. This, in itself, is hilarious, because I am famous for not cooking. I excel at staying out of the kitchen. So I'm thankful that my sister, a chef de cuisine in her own right, came over to teach the poor child how to whip sweet potatoes and roll a perfect pie crust. Alas, they both dropped back and punted when it was time to stick a hand inside the 26-pound turkey and remove those oh-so-gross bags of "stuff." No amount of coaxing, or comparisons to the Iron Chef would do. And let me tell ya, the amount of "stuff" you get with a 26-pound turkey could feed a family of 4 for days. At our house, we refrain from disguising those turkey body parts as ingredients in our side dishes. This means there's no giblet in the gravy (Note: in the South, gravy is a side dish), and in certain parts of the country, this can be considered a criminal act. Go ahead, arrest me. What we pull out in the bag, stays in the bag, and goes straight into the trash, OK?

I hope everyone enjoyed a peaceful, relaxing Thanksgiving, especially since this holiday is in danger of being skipped over altogether. I mean, seriously, when the retailers replace the Halloween candy with candy canes, it's pretty bad. But it's never too late to be thankful, and I challenge each of you to take your gratitude a step further: send a card to a soldier, or a soldier's family. Say a prayer for those in the military and the ones they love. Visit a shut-in or an elderly person, or read a book to a young child. These are the daily miracles that make our lives special, and thank God for that! Gotta run...the bean soup is burning...