Make New Friends & Keep the Old...One is Silver, the Other Will Buy You a Drink When You're Stuck in Akron

Yeah, so it's been awhile...ok, 8, 9 months since I blogged. Get over it. I'm back with a vengeance and determined to talk at you at least 3x a week, as part of my New Discipline. Goes along with my New Diet & Exercise Plan. Hey, wanna buy some real estate? Sorry, I digress.

Spent the weekend in Akron Ohio. Very nice people there, let me say that straight out. Kudos to them for trying to start a Reading Festival, very ambitious, you are to be congratulated. And I am fully cognizant that the Rust Belt is still very rusty, hard times and all that. I'm sorry, but it wasn't my fault, I don't own Goodrich.

But let's just say there were some technical difficulties with the Festival. There always are, I can deal with that. But flies swarming the breakfast bar at the hotel are never a good thing, even when one's room is paid for, thank you, Akron. Next time, skip the shuttle service (it was a lovely 3-block walk) and spend more on the hotel. One that can pass the health inspection, perhaps?

And here's a note to the Festival Organizer: if you schedule an Author (that would be moi) to speak, you probably should ask the caterers not to roll their very large carts down the side of the room during the Author's remarks...thanks to the ladies who tried to listen to my speech, we enjoyed a great laugh after the third cart swept by and our eardrums burst, plus our sign-language interpreter ROCKED, which was a good thing, because by then we were all deaf.

The only good thing I can say about my trip to Akron, aside from the fact that I had the foresight to bring along some Kit Kat bars, is that I hung out with 2 amazing, iconic women: syndicated columnist Kris Radish, and actress-par-excellence, Marcia Wallace. Let me be specific: we didn't just hang, we clung to each other, the sole bastions of sanity and reason amidst an Event Gone Sour. If I hadn't met these ladies, I would have kicked some serious ass and taken names, but as a result, enjoyed a very pleasant dinner (thanks, Bricco's!), lots of laughter, and resonated with the new bonds of friends who already seem like childhood pals.

Kris & Marcia were my lifeboat in a sea full of sharks and men who name-dropped and strutted their meager publishing successes around like Mick Jagger in a henhouse.

Kris & Marcia are the real deal; thanks for spending time with me, sharing laughs and stories, and remember, we'll always have Akron. NOT, you will recall, ever again in this lifetime!