TRAFFIC BITES! Today I had the privilege (and I'm being serious here) of driving 22 miles into downtown Nashvegas for a radio interview. Now I'm familiar with the whole "commuter traffic" thing, but thankfully it was smooth sailing despite the construction areas, despite the yahoos who drive like perennial bats outta hell, and I arrived 30 minutes early, to be exact. I even had the pleasure of meeting comedian Yakov Smirnov at the radio station, he's hilarious!

The problem began when I attempted to drive home, 2 hours later. By now it was late morning, the construction zones were in full lane-closure mode, but I, an Observant Big Girl in Need of Chocolate, wisely listened to the radio and quickly made a split-second decision to take an alternate route. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Let's review that it took me 95 minutes to go about 25 miles. And it wasn't simply a question of interstate delays...I'm talking, every danged street I turned on, there was a sewer being installed and it was down to 1 lane, there was re-paving and it was down to 1 lane, there was a moronic bulldozer operator who parked his cute little piece of equipment in the middle of MY lane while he took a cancer stick break...today I, Bunkie Big Girl, experienced the Ultimate Murphy's Law Occurrence in the Entire History of the Car-Driving World.

To make matters worse (I'm not kidding), the hunger pangs in my Big Girl Tummy reminded me that all that car-riding had forced me to skip lunch, which is an unforgivable, mortal sin in the World of Big Girls. I realized there was a McD's up the road, just a few miles...french fry salvation was at hand...until I saw flashing lights. Not one, not two, but three utility trucks BLOCKING THE ENTRANCE TO MCD's!!! In total Big Girl anger and frustration, I drove straight home, and ate no less than an entire box of Hostess Ding Dongs in one sitting. Nutritional value, you ask? Hey, I had a glass of milk with those puppies!

Have a great weekend...stay off the roads and you'll be fine.