THE METEORS ARE COMING! RUN! HIDE! EAT CHOCOLATE!

As a college-educated humanoid with a Bachelor of Science degree, and as the have-no-clue parent of a young child, I am committed to the observation of Natural Wonders in our life here on earth. This may include the removal of strange, gummy-like substances from the refrigerator door, or a cozy little gathering in the backyard, complete with flashlights, blankets, and refreshments (chocolate) in order to watch the many miracles inherent in our solar system.

This week we're smack-dab in the middle of the Lyrid Meteor Shower, and I urge you to get a front-row seat for this super event. Nothing humbles you like a good ol' fashioned meteor shower. If you've never witnessed one, set your alarms, grab the kids and a Super-size bag of Oreos, and head outside. I would advise you to wait until dark, that's sort of the point, because the good stuff probably won't happen until after 9pm, and the peak is around midnight. If you go out too early, you'll eat all your chocolate by 7:30pm and it'll just get ugly.

But aim your blankies in the direction of the Northeastern sky, tilt that chin up to the heavens, and let 'er rip. You can see up to 20 meteors streak across the firmament per second, this is Very Big Fun. It's free, it's an excuse to sit in your backyard and eat chocolate, but more importantly, it's visible proof to a child that there are Greater Powers That Be at work in our universe.

It's also very annoying to your neighbors to wake up and hear "MOM! LOOK! MOM! THERE'S ANOTHER ONE!" no less than three thousand times per hour, and any time I can annoy my neighbors, it's a good thing.

Now if it's cloudy in your neck of the woods, take heart: this space spectacular will continue through the 25th of April, so you have a couple of chances to act your shoe size and pretend that Vicious Space Aliens are attacking your hearth and home. I personally would welcome a Space Alien, of the non-violent sort, into my home, as long as we established immediate boundaries involving my chocolate. Keep your damned alien hands off my leftover Easter candy, and we'll be fine.

Ok, time to go Meteor Chocolate shopping and prepare for the show...personally, I plan to stock up on Mars Bars...